Saturday, December 22, 2012

Mommy Dearest Three


MOMMIE DEAREST


The same with Christopher in the shower—
Just like my troublesome sullen hung kid brother

The so-so strict parenting styles back then—
That Mommy Dearest respected so in Hollywood
_____________________

At least for appearance sake to make it look like—
Joan Crawford was Good Housekeeping Divine

Rather than the ungrateful, disrespectful—
And rather hell-bent pushing of her Ambition
_________________________

I pushed my mother's buttons every time—
Flaunting my goodlooking boyfriends at her

I considered it the kind of punishment that—
She deserved for beating me with coat-hangers
____________________

She just knew I was getting the hot young stuff—
Which was of course right up her fucking alley

But it wouldn’t be the first time I caught her—
In bed with one of my handsome young tricks
__________________________

It was worst torture in the world to suffer so—
Mommy Dearest getting my boyfriends in bed

Was I just some slutty Lottie Lenya male pimp—
In that “Roman Spring of Mrs. Stone” flick?
___________________

Mommy Dearest was a lot like Joan Crawford—
She dished it out pretty much to get even

Not aging well was standard for the times—
Along with wire hanger beatings, being tied up
__________________

Being beaten with tubes of Ajax plus endless—
Spankings, face-slapping, supper-less nights

It was all par for the course, honey, plus—
Being alcoholic, bipolar, obsessive compulsive
____________________

One's disease doesn’t make excusable all those—
Horrible things it makes one do, that’s for sure

It’s the basis for extra tolerance & understanding—
Maybe that’s why I’m manic depressive too
_____________________

I can genuinely empathize with Joan but—
Even mores so with poor Christina & Christopher

Finally, and this is the last on the subject—
At least until the next time for a dry martini
_________________

Why did Joan leave Christina out of her will—
People ask that question a lot, I suppose
_________________________

What were the “reasons well known to her”—
And the same with Christopher Crawford?

Christina says Mommie was a two-faced bitch—
That she’d turned into an unholy Bitch Queen
_______________________

But Joan probably found out thru the grapevine—
Daughter dearest was composing her memoirs

Waiting until Blanche finally kicked the bucket—
Then cashing in on the tres scandalous expose
_______________________

Joan found out all about it because after all—
She certainly found out about everything else

She had the last laugh with Bette Davis—
Her box-office royalties from “Baby Jane”
_________________

She got 15% compared with Bette’s 10%—
The flick was a huge success and blockbuster

A whole new Grande Dame Guignol genre—
Opening up for all the aging queen bee stars
_____________________

And so Joan probably decided that Christina—
And Christopher could enjoy their Royalties too

“Mommy Dearest” indeed a great success—
Succès de scandale both as book and film
________________________

There was no final slap in the face—
The only monster was Hollywood Babylon

It’s what Christina did to Joan Crawford—
It’s what Joan Crawford did to Christina
__________________

It’s what I did to Mommy Dearest—
It’s what my Mommy Dearest did to me

That’s really the Storyline, my dears—
The more gossip-column trashy the better




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